And, for my lovely ladies, be honest... How many of you have "a man" and still spend a significant amount of time with another guy whom you consider to be your "best friend," "bestie" or "bff" and whenever your man ask you what's going on, you tell him that he has nothing to worry about because you two aren't anything more than friends?
Let's get down to the bottom of this...
Once upon a time, a long time, or as the late great Bernie Mac would say "A Long... long, long, long, long, looong time ago." I had a boyfriend and while I had this boyfriend I befriended another male that I ended up spending a good amount of time with. We talked about everything, did everything & went everywhere together.
Was I attracted to this "Friend"?
Absolutely!!! He was very handsome and extremely attractive. He was tall, had gorgeous eyes, full smooth lips, and was intelligent. He gave me good advice and was all around a good friend.
Was he attracted to me?
Oh, but of course!!! I mean, it just was what it was. But, I had a man and he had a "Boo." And, even though a Boo wasn't the same as a girlfriend I respected it as if it were.
Why was I rendevous-ing with another man????
Things weren't going well in my relationship. I would bring up issues up to my man but he refused to have an understanding and I was getting restless. I didn't want to be without him. And, I didn't want to see him with someone else. So, I figured maybe I needed someone else to balance out the negative energy. Selfish? Yeah, maybe but this is a no judgement zone. ;)
Whenever I'd hang around "my friend" it felt like I was on vacation. While, whenever I'd spend time with my man it felt like going to a 9-5. Eventually, "my friend" & I came to an understanding that even though we liked each other ( ...because eventually after spending so much time with someone you are going to develop some kind of feelings) we were going to respect the fact that we both had people in our lives that we cared about.
Would you call it Playing with Fire??
Absolutely! At any given moment we could have said "Fck it! Let's Do Us!" But we didn't.
So, I conclude with this...
Can a girl have a guy that is just her friend while she is in a committed relationship?? My answer to this is Yes, if and only if she is...
1) Not attracted to him at ALL.
2) Not turned on by him at ALL.
3) Knows that he has zero chances in hell of getting any and will not allow anything to influence that.
Then, YES I totally believe that a woman can have a male in her life that she is friends with while in a committed relationship with another male. I don't feel that it is impossible. Let me know what you guys think you? Share your experiences? Leave Comments & Opinions.
Also, if there are any topics that you want to discuss email me at MsRisaWright@Gmail.com