- Abusers pick and choose whom to abuse. They don’t insult, threaten, or assault everyone in their life who gives them grief. Usually, they save their abuse for the people closest to them, the ones they claim to love.
- Abusers carefully choose when and where to abuse. They control themselves until no one else is around to see their abusive behavior. They may act like everything is fine in public, but lash out instantly as soon as you’re alone.
- Abusers are able to stop their abusive behavior when it benefits them. Most abusers are not out of control. In fact, they’re able to immediately stop their abusive behavior when it’s to their advantage to do so (for example, when the police show up or their boss calls).
- Violent abusers usually direct their blows where they won’t show. Rather than acting out in a mindless rage, many physically violent abusers carefully aim their kicks and punches where the bruises and marks won’t show.
Abusers ARE are able to control their behavior—they do it all the time.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of size, gender, or strength, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars.
Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love.
"Stopping an Abuser's Drug and or Alcohol problem will not stop their abusive patterns, they are two separate entities although drug and alcohol use does make abuse more likely."
According to Ezine Articles more than 50% of spousal abusers also abuse their children.
Facts and Stat, according to Care Lodge Domestic Violence Shelter, Inc.,
According to reports, 90s rapper Tone Loc was arrested yesterday afternoon on account of felony domestic violence after engaging in a physical altercation with his child’s mother.
According to TMZ, the rapper, whose real name is Anthony Smith, went to visit the mother’s apartment complex around 2:45 p.m. in Burbank, California. After the alleged fight, he was arrested several hours later.
He Is currently being held on $50,000 bail.
Posted by _Risa Wright
Here you go...
The 9 types of Toxic Men aka Abusers, according to Tigress Luv.
The "Demand" Man
Feels entitled, ask for more than he gives back. Feels like you "owe" him. Exaggerates and overvalues his own contributions. Keeps a "mental list" of everything he's ever done and wants constant payback for them. Thinks he is owed tremendous gratitude for meeting the ordinary responsibilities of every day life (and takes your contribution for granted).
When he is generous and giving to you - it's only to prove to himself , and others, that he is a good person. If you need something he accuses you of being self-centered and he tells everybody how selfish and ungrateful you are, and acts hurt because of all he's done for you. He gets furious if anything is demanded of him and switches it back to being about him.
First off, What is a Toxic Man?
According to Tigress Luv, a Toxic Man is one who will slowly suck your happiness and your loving, nurturing spirit out of you. You will become confused, insecure, depressed zombies...yet the Toxic Man will walk around as if nothing has happened, and not seeming to notice your depression and unhappiness at all.
A Toxic Man is a combination of a narcissistic man, a commitmentphobic man, a codependent man, a histrionic man, a man with split personality disorder, a control freak, martyr, and an abuser, yet doesn't really precisely belong to any one of these groups exactly. He is the TOXIC MAN!
According to Ezine Articles...
Court ordered Domestic Violence courses and classes are not always successful and DO NOT Guarantee the abuse will stop, However it can and does help..
"Certain types of Abusers can be very well liked socially, can seem very nice out of the home debunking any claims the victim may have and making them feel NON-Credible."
I can relate to this first hand. I know of an abuser who is very well liked socially even goes as far as to call himself a "Ladies Man." And, that may all well be true. But, I can guarantee that whatever woman and/or women he gets into a relationship with, will ultimately become victims of his domestic abuse.